Sweven: A Fight For It Prelude (Outtake 1)
by Maddie-the-Muse
Summary: A prelude to Fight For It. This little offering is to let anyone who may still be reading Fight For It know that I haven't abandoned my story, and to try to make amends for my negligence. There is no excuse for the length of time that I've let pass, all I can say is, I'm sorry.


**Sweven **

[**swev**-_uh_n]

**_ noun_**_Archaic._

– a vision seen in sleep; a dream

* * *

I jerked violently upright in bed startling myself awake. I couldn't remember what I had been dreaming about but, judging by the raging hard-on I was sporting, it had been another sex dream. I had been having them all week. I could never remember the details of the dreams though, just that they made me ridiculously, fucking horny.

I flopped back on the mattress adjusting my boxers around my cock.

_ Fuck that feels good._

I palmed myself through my shorts a couple of times, still groggy from sleep, but way too agitated to even hope of getting back to sleep. I slipped my hand inside my boxers and slowly stroked my cock while I closed my eyes and tried to remember what I had been dreaming about. Little details started to drift back to me.

_ ...my nuts gently gripped in someone else's fingers..._

_ ...a tongue slowly trailing down the length of my dick..._

_ ...licking my balls, and back up..._

_ ...raw, red lips sliding down over the head of my cock..._

_ ...a hot, wet mouth surrounding me..._

_ ...my hand fisting in hair—short dark hair..._

_ ...that delicious mouth sucking me, cheeks hollowed out..._

_ ...dark eyes looking up at me—eyes I know as well as my own?_

**_ HOLY FUCK!_**

My eyes shot open and I wrenched my hand out of my shorts as the realization of who I'd been dreaming about hit me.

It wasn't the first time I'd had explicit sex dreams; my subconscious had a vivid imagination and when it had been a while since I got laid it took off without me sometimes. It was rare for me to dream about someone I actually knew though, and it sure as fuck was the first time I'd dreamt about a guy. I let it sink in as I caught my panting breath. Why the fuck was I dreaming about one of my pack brothers? That is some seriously fucked up shit.

I rolled over, wrapped my arms around my pillow and pushed my face into it. Trying to clear the memory of the dream from my mind, but every time I closed my eyes, it flashed inside my eyelids again; my still half-hard dick pressed between me and the mattress wasn't helping to take my mind off how fucking horny I was either.

Sure, we had been spending a lot of time together the last few months, but seriously, I was not into guys. Even if I had been, I knew better than to get involved with someone I would have to see on a regular basis, and there was no getting around that with another wolf.

I forced myself to just go the fuck back to sleep. I counted backward from 100 slowly and managed to keep my mind off the twisted fucking dream long enough to drift back to sleep.

I managed to put it out of my mind until I saw him the next afternoon; the dream came rushing back and hit me just as hard as it had the night before. I was leaving Sam's place, having just checked in after finishing up my patrol run. He was headed over there for something himself and we met in the street in front of Sam and Emily's place. I couldn't even fucking look him in the eye; I was afraid he'd be able to tell what I was thinking about. Sharing your mind with five other guys when wolfed out makes you fucking paranoid about shit like that, but I _was _thinking about it—a lot. I caught myself staring at his mouth when he was talking instead of listening to what he was saying; remembering the vision of his lips swollen and red, sucking me off.

"Hey! Where are you, man?" he taunted, slugging me in the shoulder to get my attention. I flinched and jerked away from him. "Jesus, you're jittery," he laughed.

"Sorry." I shook my head to try and clear it, berating myself for acting like such a tool. It was a fucking dream, it didn't mean shit. "What did you say?"

"I was asking if you wanted to hang later. What's wrong with you?" he asked, watching me intently with his eyebrows raised and his eyes wide—just like they had been in my dream. It was almost like he could see through me with his dark-eyed stare. I closed my eyes tight to block him out.

"Nothing," I answered too quickly and too loudly.

"Okay," his response was drawn out and completely disbelieving. "So, later?" he prompted.

"I can't. I have to go," I insisted and turned to get the fuck out of there. I needed to get my fucking head straight.

This was going to be a bigger fucking problem than I had originally thought. Seeing him brought everything from the dream to the front and center of my mind and I couldn't fucking ignore it.

I hit the shower as soon as I got home, making it as cold as I could fucking stand. I had to get whatever the fuck this was sorted out in my head or it was really going to become an issue once we were phased together...or if I was phased with anyone else either.

I stood in the shower with my head pressed against the cold tile, the icy water pouring over me. I shivered against the wall, trying to rid my head of any thoughts of the dream, and of him—trying completely unsuccessfully. Seeing him had just driven home the fact that I was feeling something for him—something I'd never felt for another guy before. If I were completely honest with myself—which I rarely ever was—I was attracted to him; Seriously fucking attracted to him.

_ Fuck_.

It wasn't just physical either. We had been spending quite a bit of time together recently and the more time I spent with him, the more I wanted to spend. He was a cool guy. We had similar interests, and views about life; he was fucking smart and, yeah, obviously I thought he was physically attractive, too.

I had never considered guys an option. Not that I had anything against the idea of it specifically, I'd just never been attracted to another guy before. I sunk down to my knees in the tub and cranked off the cold water as the realization fully hit me. I was more than just physically attracted to another wolf—a good friend really, since I was being honest with myself—he was a lot of the other things that I always told myself I was looking for in someone. The list of things I always told myself that the girls I messed around with were missing—the reason I never actually dated any of them.

Fucking Hell! My ideal woman was a dude, and my best friend?

I sat there, thinking about that possibility as the water evaporated off of my skin. It didn't really matter how I felt about him, I wasn't going to do anything about it. I'd given up on the idea of ever having any sort of relationship at all; I couldn't risk it when being a wolf meant I could suddenly look at someone and have my whole existence be for them and them only, leaving whoever I'd been with in the dust without an explanation—just like Sam had done to his fiancée when he first met Emily. Fucking imprinting! It wasn't bad enough that being a wolf meant giving up any hopes we may have had for our lives; no, we had to have some fucked-up spirit match-maker looming over our heads too.

Thinking about the fucking imprint bullshit helped to put everything into perspective. I couldn't get involved with anyone, especially someone who had the same fate I did. I resolved to just fucking ignore my newly realized feelings for him, and just go on with life the way I'd been doing for the last few months since this wolf craziness had started.

I went out that night and got laid. I had to get my mind back in the game, so to speak. They say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else, right? They're smart people, whoever the fuck 'they' are. Jenny Anderson was an ideal candidate to help me move on from my delusions.


End file.
